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August 8, 2012


Since LegumeMan’s inception in 1843, one question has dogged us relentlessly. From the saloons of Madagascar to the saloons of Shepparton, this query has been on the lips of every person who has ever crossed our paths. When are you chaps going to take a run at the beverage industry? Up until now our answer has always been the same. Why won’t anyone buy our books?

It was the innocence of a child that finally convinced us it was time. Earlier today at LegumeMan’s local, The Daft Schintzel, Cunt Mulligan, the resident cherubic longshoreman, was swilling a schooner of the local fermented chicory. Upon tasting this admittedly foul concoction, his demeanour took a frightful turn for the worst.

“Which one of youse cunts is gonna make a better drink! ” he screamed in a rousing falsetto. To which, following a knowing glance amongst the gathered patrons, we replied in unison, ‘ALL OF US!’

Once the fist pumps had died down, most patrons admitted they’d answered in haste, propelled by the thrill of community. They immediately killed themselves. This left no one but LegumeMan standing to answer Milligan’s challenge. We immediately placed a call to our good friend Arnold Wintley (a man as renowned for his beverage savvy as for his sass factor 5 rating) and retired to our “thoughtful parlour” to ponder. Fifteen minutes later we emerged with a revolutionary new product that Mr Mulligan referred to as “a possible substitute”.

Clamp Ladies and Gents, we don’t want you soiling one another as LegumeMan proudly presents its brand new array of WATERSHAKES!!!



Now we know what you are thinking. WHAT IN THE ABORTION OF FUCK IS A WATERSHAKE!?

Well in true maverick style, we provide a song to explain:

Now with that out of the way, Brothers Gunther proudly presents this week’s line of Watershakes.





All watershakes are hand dehydrated prior to delivery and arrive as handy, easily storable, cubes. Simply add water and let the magic begin!

Order your favourite today… or maybe splash out and pick up the entire range!!!

All interested parties should email pants?whoneedspants?

Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

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